I've recently had a bout with leprocy. Well, it wasn't actually leprocy, but I told everyone who asked about the disgusting colony of sores that appeared on my face that it was, in fact, leprocy.

Most of them were incredulous. They insisted that it couldn't have been leprocy. "Who gets leprocy any more? I'd have heard on Action News if leprocy was going around. THAT IS NOT LEPROCY!"

They'd take a step back from me anyway.

"Oh, yes it is," I'd insist. "They also call it Hanson's Disease. I get a free trip to Hawaii, 'cause they've got a leper colony there. I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm really gonna miss my flesh."

The sores have mostly cleared up now thanks to a very expensive prescription balm. My doctor still insists it was impetigo, not leprocy, but I'll always remember my status as leper.

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Posted at 6:17 p.m.

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