2002-07-10 � Beach Bomb

I don't even know what is to be said. Go read this. Go on. I'll be here when you get back.

Oh, you're a lazy fuck, aren't you. Ok. Here's a summary. This girl printed her own twenties and tried to pass them at the Dunkin Donuts. Crazy, huh? The cops arrested her and her boyfriend. Then they searched the couple's apartment. They found materials to make bombs and also "books on terrorism, including one describing how to kill people with nerve gas and other poisons, newspaper clippings of an upcoming ceremony at the New England Holocaust Memorial and photos of a bridge named after a late Jewish leader."

Charming, no? So what would a skeevy looking couple with freshly minted twenties want to do with all that stuff? "While prosecutors said they do not know an exact target, they said in court papers that the goal of the plot was to blow up some structure, building, property or memorial associated with Jewish- and/or African-Americans, thereby advancing the defendants' anti-Semitic and white-supremacist goals and igniting a 'racial holy war.'"

Pretty horrifying. But check out the following background information on our hero, Felton. This part is delish.

Felton, 31, was born in Silver Spring, Maryland, the son of a white mother and a black father who were civil rights activists. After his parents divorced, he lived with his mother and her female partner.

He became involved in white supremacist groups while in a New Jersey prison, where he served a three- to nine-year sentence for attempted murder in the beating of a black taxi driver. Prosecutors allege he is a member of the White Order of Thule.

In a letter to a Boston newspaper, Felton blamed his parents and their interracial marriage for his troubles. He said the commingling of black and white blood was "evil."

The 6-foot-7 Felton sports an assortment of racist tattoos; the words "Skin" and "Head" are tattooed on his shaved head.

So let me get this straight. When one's interracial parents divorce and then one's mom gets all lez-licious, one naturally turns to hate crime, doesn't one? When did the White Order of Thule start admitting mulattos? What is going on here?

The loving couple are pleading not guilty to all charges. They say they never intended to blow up a structure from the black or Jewish communities of Boston.

But why did you have all that amonium-nitrate, the same chemical used in the Oklahoma City bombing, the cops ask. Why would you have all that lying around your apartment?

Their answer, and I swear I'm not making this up, is this. They had bomb making materials because they wanted to detonate a bomb on the beach for entertainment. Ahahaa-haa! Yes, it's true they hate black people, but they would never blow up their shit.

Are you crazy?

Posted at 1:16 a.m.

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