When it was her turn to order, she delivered a very complex order. Her order included the sexy new fish sandwich. "Is the fish hot? Was it just dropped?" she asked demonstrating her knowledge of fast food lingo.
"No. If you want a fresh one, it will be four minutes."
"Oh, honey. I'll wait! Ain't nobody alive gonna give me the cold fish. Nuh-uh! Know what I'm sayin'? I don't do the cold clammy fish!" The asian girl garnished her pronouncement by putting the palm of her hand about two inches from the counter girl's nose.
Within seconds the girl behind the counter developed a deep and relentless hate for the asian girl. She could barely conceal her contempt as she poured the drinks and made the cheese fries.
Soon it was our turn to order. We ordered by number, naturally. The total came to ten dollars and seventy-seven cents. Tom gave her eleven dollars. I had two pennies so I gave them to the girl behind the counter.
See this involved a little math. I'll break it down for you. By giving her two pennies, I made the total we gave her eleven dollars and two cents. If you subtract ten dollars and seventy-seven cents from eleven dollars and two cents you get twenty-five cents. A shiny quarter. Less change for Tom to carry around in his pocket.
But there was a catch you see. A catch. I gave her the two pennies after she had pressed the tender button on her machine. The screen said she would need to give us twenty-three cents. I could see the wheels turning in her head. I watched her furrow her brow in deep concentration.
And that's when the Asian girl came up and said, "Excuse me, but I know you didn't forget my tartar sauce. I know you didn't. I know it. I know you didn't. Nuh-uh. You didn't forget my tartar sauce. What does a girl have to do to get some tartar sauce from the man? What does a girl have to do?"
You see, the girl behind the counter had forgotten to give her the tartar sauce. So she went looking for the tartar sauce and curtly apologized as she handed it over. But she hadn't given us the change yet, she hadn't finished the math.
So she went back to her concentration and then she reached into the change bin and pulled out twenty-one cents. two dimes and a penny.
I started to protest. "That's wrong. You should give us a quarter."
"No," she said. "No, you gave me two pennies, and the total was ten dollars and seventy-seven cents. I take a way two pennies. Now you get twenty-one cents back."
"No, that doesn't make any sense. Why would I give you two pennies so you can give me a penny back. It doesn't make any sense."
Tom shushed me. He didn't want me to go into a lengthy explanation of the math. He's lived through more than one such conversation and he finds each more exasperating than the last.
"It's fine," he said. "Twenty-one cents it is." He pocketed the change and gave me a warning look. Then he smiled and winked a little at the counter girl and she blushed and ran off to get our food with her hair bouncing a bit more than before.
Tom says the place has really gone down hill since Dave died.
Posted at 12:19 a.m.
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