"Oh, naturally," I said rolling my eyes. "That's just what I was thinking. It's uncanny really that you and I could be thinking the exact same thing like that. Uncanny."

"No, Brian, I'm serious. My friend John read mine for me last week and it really got me centered and feeling better. You should at least try it."

"At this point, I'm not ruling anything out. But I don't know anyone who reads cards and I'm sure as hell no paying for it."

She took a deep breath and said, "you know my roommate, Meateater?"

"Sure."

"Well, a couple of weeks ago we were at Sisters (Ed. note. Sisters is a local lesbian bar) and he saw this guy across the room named Jessie and he asked me to go tell Jessie that he was shy so that Jessie would make all the first moves which is a total lie because Meateater is nothing close to shy."

"Yes, I know."

"So I did. I went over to Jessie and I said that boy over there is shy and Jessie came over and they started to talk and pretty soon they decided that Jessie was gonna come home with us. But they didn't have sex. They just cuddled."

She rolled her eyes and leaned in conspiratorially. "I think that cuddling should be reserved for those you care about. Friends can make good cuddlers. Strangers are for having sex. But what do I know?"

I pulled out an emery board and began cleaning up my nails. Bevin continued. "Anyway, so Meateater and I were out at Woody's (Ed. note. Woody's is a local gay bar. It's owned by a man named Woody so get your mind out of the gutter) the next night and we saw Jessie. So we went up to him and pretty soon Meateater was bringing Jessie home for more cuddling and makign out, but no sex.

"So the next morning, Meateater decided he would never call Jessie again, which is his way, so he never called him again."

"He doesn't tell them something like I'm just not interested? He just disappears?" I asked.

"Right. It is his way. So the next time we see Jessie out it's at Sisters and he's talking to us and when we decide to leave Jessie says he's just gonna go sleep at a friend's house and Meateater says that's fine so Jessie left. But I guess it hurt his feelings that Meateater didn't chase him and say, no come home with me and we'll cuddle and make out and not have sex or maybe have sex because it's our third night in the same bed. Oh, that's very nice. I like that swan."

I gave Bevin the origami swan I had just folded and began to create an origami tree for it to perch in. She continued. "So the next night we were out at Sisters again and we saw Jessie and he came up to me and he said, 'you're ok, but your roommate is an asshole' and I said, 'oh Meateater isn't so bad.' and Jessie said, 'it's been a long time since I let myself fall for anybody and he doesn't even return my calls. He's a real asshole.' And I said 'oh, it's just his way.'

"And then it really got interesting because Meateater came up and was drunk and beligerent and said, 'what's your problem' and Jessie was all, 'you're an asshole' and Meateater was all, 'no I'm not.' This went back and forth for a while and then they started shoving each other and Meateater said, 'you wanna take this outside?' And Jessie said, 'yeah!' and the kept shoving each other.

"So I stepped between them and I said, 'you're not gonna fight at Sisters!' and I picked Meateater up. Physically lifted him off the ground and dragged him downstairs."

I'd run out of paper and patience. So I said, "Bevin, why are you telling me this story?"

Bevin got a pained look on her face. A look that told me it should be painfully obvious. "Because, Brian. Because Jessie reads Tarrot cards. Maybe he'll read yours. That's why. Sheesh."

I sat dumbfounded. I watched her for a sign that she was joking. A sign that I'd misheard her or that she'd misspoken.

"You gave me that excruciating level of detail because you want me to go up to a gay boy that picks fights with other gay boys in lesbian bars and ask him to read my Tarot cards for free. Did I get that right?"

"Well, yeah."

So I said the only thing I could say. "Oh." Then called it a day and came home. I figured I'd been given a sign.

Posted at 11:03 p.m.

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