2001-11-18 � I'm not a cheat

Ok, so last night, T and I had a lovely evening. We wiled away the time playing Scrabble. It was lovely except for when he became a cheater. You see, everytime I tried to play my best words, he absolutely lost it. I mean, out of control.

"Brian, 'R-A-C-K-E-R" is not a word. I challenge that."

"What do you mean, it's not a word? Racker is a word."

"No it isn't. What does it mean?"

"It's someone who puts things on racks. Very simple."

"You're full of crap. I challenge that!"

"Whoa, whoa now," I soothed. "Let's not get crazy."

"Where's your dictionary? Where is it?"

"I don't have one. I've been meaning to get a dictionary, but I've just not gotten around to it."

"Liar. Here's an unabridged one on your shelf."

"Really? Let me see." I inspected the book and it seems that it was indeed a dictionary. "How did that get there? I have no knowledge regarding the arrival of that book on my shelf."

"You are such a fucking lawyer. Don't start that crap with me."

"Listen baby, I don't understand why you don't just trust me. Racker is a real word." I took him in my arms and kissed him.

He bit my lip. "Don't you try to distract me."

"What distraction? I just wanted to be close to you."

"You're a bastard. Look here. It goes from rack to racket. No racker anywhere."

"Well, the reason for that is that racker is a legal term. I don't have my Black's Law Dictionary around or I'd be able to show you."

"It is not a legal term! You're such a liar!"

"Yes it is. Haven't you heard it on 'Law & Order?' You're honor, I'd like a recess to instruct my racker on the way I need the evidence racked. You've never heard that? They say that all the time."

"You make me sad" he said. "I can't believe you're doing this. It's not a word. You're cheating. You know it's not a word."

"Baby, it's a primey word. Don't be a racker and just play. It'll be ok. Just give me my 28 points and make your word."

In the end, the incident was an ablitation for a very enhoble evening. And really, is it my faultly that T's vocabulary is not as extyn as mine?

Posted at 11:16 a.m.

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