2002-02-20 � dog related disputes

My law school offers a really good pro bono program for its students. Pro Bono work, is work done free of charge, usualy for citizens that cannot afford to hire an attorney. All student pro bono work is supervised by an attorney, but the work, the actual work is done by students. There are so many ways to get some practical experience before hitting the streets. We're located in an economically depressed area and there are lots of people around who could use a hand dealing with creditors or landlords or the IRS or each other.

There are eight or nine different ways students can get involved in this stuff. I participate in a number of them. I'm a member of VITA, which is a group of students who help people who have been thrown off the welfare rolls fill out their tax returns, often for the first time in their lives. It's so rewarding to have them come in scared to death by the incomprehensible documents they got in the mail and leave with an envelope I've helped them fill out that will generate a few hundred dollars in refund money. Desparately needed refund money.

I also assist with the Domestic Violence Project. Students in the DV Project meet with women, or men for that matter, who have filed for restraining orders and listen to their stories, calm them down if possible, answer procedural questions, and obtain pro bono legal representation for them if necessary. Most often, they just need someone to help them order their story and eliminate the stuff that the judge won't want to hear. It's very scary to appear before a judge on a matter like this, especially with the person you're accusing of really horrible things sitting right there in the same room.

But my favorite pro bono activity is Mediating. I can't tell you how cool it is. In New Jersey, the Court system has a mandatory mediation program which has been instituted to help cut down on the backlog of cases flooding the docket. Cases are screened and a Judge orders the ones he feels will benefit from the experience to participate in mediation with the understanding that if the mediation fails, they will be able to refile and have their case heard in court.

The mediators undergo an expensive training and are not paid for the work they do as mediators. The goal is to get the parties to air their grievences and and agree on a mutually beneficial solution. Once the parties agree, the mediator draws up a binding contract spelling out the terms of the agreement, gives each party a copy and files a copy with the court. If the problem is not resolved, the court can enforce the contract and require the parties to abide by it.

Mostly the people in mediation are there because they let a really, really petty stupid situation get out of control and now they are so angry they can't see that the situation is petty and stupid. That is where the mediators come in. We listen to both sides, take them seriously, and do everything we can to get to the heart of the issue and fix the problem.

What does all this mean? It means that once or twice a month I get to put on a business suit and play Judge Judy.

The first time I ever mediated a dispute it was between next door neighbors. On one side, a nice woman with a husband, three children, and a dog. On the other side, the most unpleasant woman I have ever met and her husband who had been dragged to the mediation unwillingly. He never spoke.

I asked the unhappy woman to speak first, because she was the complainant, or the person who had filed the suit. I asked her to tell me the story, to detail her complaint.

"Well," she said, "I have to tell you that I have a very tidy yard. My back yard is very, very tidy and neat."

"Go on," I encouraged.

"I have lived in my house for more than thirty years and it has always been tidy until they moved in. Always. Tidy tidy tidy! And then they moved in and now..." She covered her face and looked away.

"Would you like a tissue?" I asked.

"Yes, thank you. I would like a tissue."

The other woman raised her hand and said, "can I ask a question because I don't know what she's talking about. There's been an old broken toilet sitting on her back porch since I moved into that neighborhood two years ago and the birds use it as a birdbath now and so I don't know what she's talking about when she says, 'tidy.' There ain't no tidy over there."

I reiterated the rules. Everyone waits their turn to speak, no one speaks over anyone else, and I will hear everything every one wants to say.

The mean woman regained her composure. "They have a dog you know." Her husband rolled his eyes. "They have a dog over there. A DOG!"

"Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to calm down. We don't yell here."

"Oh, ok. It's just that I get so angry. I get angry, you know? I get angry."

"I can appreciate that," I said. "But be angry without yelling. Now take a deep breath and tell me the problem about the dog. What caused you to file a suit?"

"Their dog uses the bathroom in their back yard. And it lifts its leg on the fence post, my fence post. And when it does, some of the pee gets on my side of the fence. IT'S TRESSPASSING, DON'T YOU SEE! TRESSPASSING!"

The other woman rolled her eyes a bit and inhaled ready to speak. I silenced her with a gesture.

"Your complaint is that dog pee seeps onto your side of the fence and you want damages in tort for tresspass? Is that right?"

"Yes! How can I keep a tidy lawn if there is pee on it? How can I? I can't, that's how. And I told her, I told her I'd take her to court if her dog piddled on my side just one more time and that dog did! I have pictures! Want to see the pictures?"

She showed me pictures of a dog peeing on a chainlink fence post.

"What about the pictures?"

I think it was at that point that I burst into uncontrolable laughter. It was the most ridiculious surreal experience. And when I laughed, I ruined my credibility and we were unable to resolve the pee issue. It had to go before the judge. The judge was none too happy to have to hear the dog pee case, a case I should have been able to resolve.

It was my biggest mediating failure.

Posted at 2:24 p.m.

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