~~~~~~

Dear Justin,

I saw you there. You took off your shirt and danced on the speaker. And I saw you let the DJ lick the sweat off your chest.

You're such a slut. But it doesn't matter to me because you're not my faggot boyfriend and you never were and you never will be ever. I'm back with Sharon and we're running to Vegas and we're going to get married on Saturday. I've already booked the tickets on www.gogreyhound.com They have companion fares right now, so it's buy one ticket, get the other one free, mother fucker. That's twetny-seven hours nonstop, one way, making out with my girl in the back of the bus.

And I know she loves me because she said she would wait a couple of years for my band to get off the ground so I can buy her a dope-ass ring just like she deserves. And I'm not lying to her about the ring. Not like I lied to you. I showed her a sketch of the ring I designed myself, so she knows just what it will look like. And she cut my design out and used some scotch tape and she's wearing it right now. And if it ever tears, I'll be able to make her a new one because I designed it for her! Not for you for her!

So take your new DJ boy toy and ram him up your ass. Oh, wait. You'd actually like that so never mind.

Kevin

~~~~~~

Dear Kevin,

Are you doing this for the tax benefits? I just don't understand. I mean, I get the cover date thing, but marriage seems a little drastic.

Anyway, I saw the cutest little top today and I bought it. I can't wait to model it for you.

Play a quarter for me and gimme a call when you get back, okay?

I miss you,

Justin

~~~~~~

Dear Justin,

How dare your ass be at the bus station when we got back! How dare your ass! Oh, I saw you there. I stepped off the bus with my new bride and I saw you craning your neck to catch a glimpse of us. But I grabbed her and I threw a blanket over her head and we ran for the door and you didn't see us.

And you followed us out the door and we were sprinting to our car and you were right behind us and gaining on us, but still you didn't see us. And then I said, "get in honey! Get in!"

And she said, "why are you dragging me so fast? What is going on?"

And I said, "Bees, honey! A swarm of killer bees! You know how alergic you are so we have to get out of here!"

And she said, "I'm not alergic to bees."

And I said, "You are now, so shut the fuck up, bitch. Obey me or I'll teach you to obey me." And then I smacked her and she bled a little, but it didn't drip on my lamb skin seat covers, so it's ok.

And then you jumped in front of our car and threw yourself on the hood and screamed, "Kevin! Kevin! I missed you!" But I turned sharply and you flew off the hood and landed in that pile of rubish behind the bus station. But you still didn't see us, Justin. You didn't see us because you're a faggot and an idiot both in one. We got past you so slick. We totally got away from your ass, you cocksucker!

So, you better leave me and my wife alone. You've already made me hit her and I don't want to have to do that again. But I will, faggot, I will. I'll hit her hard and it will be your fault because you make me so angry.

Kevin

~~~~~~

Dear Kevin,

I was starting to think you didn't want to be my boyfriend, but then you came to me in my room last night. I'm sorry my dad called the cops. He heard you break the window, and then he got all panicked. Next time you want to come over, just call so I can let you in the front door.

Dad says you're not my friend. Dad doesn't understand how much in love we are. Dad says you were going to burn our house down while we slept. I told him you always carry that gas canister in the back of your truck because you might run out of gas.

The smell of gas is mostly out of my mattress. I still get headaches when I sleep there though. I don't mind a few more nights on the couch. I really don't. Not for you. Not if those nights on the couch are for our love.

All my thoughts,

Justin

~~~~~~

Dear Justin,

When I get out of here, I'm going to cut you open. I've been making a shiv out of my toothbrush all morning and fantasizing about sticking it in your gullet and twisting it while you scream.

I'm gonna get you. And if Sharon leaves me while I'm in prison, I'm gonna get you twice.

Twice. Think about that, faggot. You think about that, and you have nightmares.

I HATE YOU!

Kevin

~~~~~~

Dear Kevin,

I fantasize about you too. I miss you and can't wait to have you in me again.

I still think they should have tried you as a juvenile. That was a tough break.

I cried when they came back with a guilty verdict. But you know that. You heard me caterwalling and you turned and screamed "Shut the fuck up you cocksucker! I'll cut you if you don't shut up!" And the judge had you shackled and gagged, but he didn't understand that's how you communicate your feelings. He may have heard a threat to my safety, but I heard the real meaning. I heard you say "I love you, Justin. With all my heart and soul and every fiber of myself. Just the way you love me." Don't be angry at the judge. He just didn't understand.

I've been kintting you an afgan. It's pink. It's taking me some time, I'm a beginner you know, but I want you to be warm in the big house. It's drafty there and you'd be so much less hot if you caught a cold and got all sickley and weak. I like to keep my man all butched up. LOL

Just remember that you're taken. But I know how it is in prison. I watch Oz. You can be someone's bitch while you're in prison but only for self-protection.

So, I'll see you at the sentencing. I'll wear something sexy for you. I know it's the last time you'll get to see designer lables for a while. Do they have TV upstate?

I'll be your candle on the water, baby. I'll be waiting for you.

All my love,

Justin

P.S. Do you want me to send you some cigarettes to trade for extra pudding?

Posted at 12:30 a.m.

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