Britney doused with urineBy Guylaine Cadorette, Hollywood.com Staff
HOLLYWOOD, March 10, 2002 -- Look ya'll, she doesn't wanna be so damn protected.
That's what Britney Spears belts out in the new single, "Overprotected" form [sic] her third album Britney, but rumor has it the princess of pop could have used some shielding last week while taping a TV commercial in Los Angeles.
Spears apparently had to duck for cover after angry resident threw buckets of urine as she sang her heart out on location in a downtown street at around 4 a.m.
According to Sky News, filming was abandoned shortly after the 21-year-old singer scrambled into her trailer.
One resident was quoted as saying: "We kept hearing the same song over and over but what made it worse were two 100-foot spotlights. They lit up our apartment like it was daytime.
"Lots of people in the block opened their windows and started screaming at her. Britney certainly didn't deserve the bucket treatment. She's a brilliant singer--but perhaps not when you're trying to get to sleep."
It is not known what exactly Spears was taping in the wee hours of the morning, but sources say it was either a television commercial or the "Overprotected" video shoot, which wrapped at about the same time last week.
One thing is certain, don't expect the footage to appear in the next installment of MTV's Making the Video: Britney Spears.
Emphasis added to highlight the absurd.
When I read this story, and I have read it many times over the past couple of days trying to decide what to do with it, I like to imagine the scene in Britney's trailer. What that must have been like. What her handlers must have been put through.
In my mind's eye, I see bottles of water being hurled at prim women with clipboards and headset mikes. I see a tiny fag with thick rimmed glasses and a skin tight lycra muscle shirt trying to calm her down. "You are just going to have to stop screaming if you want me to rinse the pee of those filthy animals out of your hair. Three hours of work getting your hair bigger than it's ever been in any of your videos flushed down the toilet and I'm not speaking figuratively. Some people just don't understand art. And that's what you are, Brit. You're an artist.
"The greats have always been persecuted--hold still, now. I'm applying the creme rinse--I mean, for heaven sakes! Even JC got nailed up for trying to take his message to the people.
"Don't you let this get you down. Your breasts are bigger than anyone's up there, and you can take that all the way to the--sit up sweetie. Sylvia! Get me the blow dryer! Stat!--bank. That's what you're gonna do, you're gonna take it to the bank.
"So just calm down, now. Let's not see any more tears. No more tears--Sylvia! Get Ms. Spears a Quelude! Do it now, Sylvia!--Just swallow this and breathe deeply.
"No, you don't have to go back out there with those filthy animals. You don't have to. You're too beautiful to deal with them. If you don't stop screaming like that you're going to get nodes and then you'll wind up like Mary Poppins.
"Sweetie, just let the quelude do it's thing. Besides, it's just a little urine. Didn't you tell me that Justin boy likes to pee on you? There there, now. It's just a bucket of pee. This is your cross. You'll just have to bear it because they're jealous of your artistry.
"Filthy Animals."
Posted at 11:13 p.m.
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