She started her car and pulled out onto the highway. The drive was monotonous, so she let her thoughts wander to him. They had met almost three weeks ago in a vet�s waiting room. Her dog, Loco, was in for his annual shots, and his cat, Needles, needed to be dewormed. It had taken the assistance of three staffers and a couple of injections before Loco and Needles could be disentangled, but she had known from the moment Needles grafted himself to Loco�s pelt that she was not going to let the cat owner out of Dr. Withersom�s office before he had her number.
That night she was changing Loco�s dressings, which had to be slathered in some kind of analgesic ointment, when the phone rang. She waited until the third ring to pick it up. Best not to seem too anxious even though she could sense it was he on the other line. They talked for hours that night, exploring the shallow end of each other�s origins.
The next day he had taken her and Loco to the park. He produced a Frisbee, Loco�s favorite, and the three of them chased each other to exhaustion, cheering happily when Loco caught the saucer. He brought a picnic lunch, which included a soup bone for Loco, and they each enjoyed the company of the other in the shade of an ancient maple tree. He fed her fresh fruit for dessert and when he tasted her for the first time they shared the hint of peaches from her lip. It was a perfect day.
She wanted to make tonight as perfect for him as the park had been for her. He was the man of her dreams, the prince she had always known would step out of a storybook, fall to his knees, and kiss the back of her hand.
She arrived at her home with her bundles and looked at the clock. �Two hours,� she told Loco, �he�ll be here in two hours. I�d better hurry if I want this to be perfect.�
She woke suddenly at about four the next morning to a bit of disorientation. She had overcome his hint of reluctance and taken him to her bed. They had made love passionately, their bodies a harmony of curves and angles. After, they laid in a tangle whispering vulnerable things in each other�s ears. He asked her if she wanted him to leave, but she insisted he stay.
�If I�m gonna stay, there�s something about me you should know,� he whispered.
�Tomorrow, darling,� she reassured, �tell me all about it tomorrow.�
�I really think you should know now. Before we sleep.�
She kissed him hard on the mouth and pulled him close. �Nothing you could tell me would change anything. You�re staying right here in my arms.� Her embrace engulfed him and they held each other until sleep consumed them.
Thinking back, once it became obvious to him that she wanted him to stay over for the first time, he had tried to tell her some kind of secret on a number of occasions. As she lay in his arms getting pissed on, she wished she had let him. Oh, God, she thought, he�s a bed-wetter!
She pulled the sheet back to see a stain grow across the sheets she had bought just the day before, satin sheets she had chosen specially for them. Her new sheets were ruined. Oh, no, the mattress!
She kicked him hard and he rolled off the bed onto the floor. As he rolled an arc of urine marked his rotation across the sky.
�Get to the bathroom, you FUCK!�
He grabbed himself on the end and squeezed hard. It stopped the piss, but it burned like hell. He ran down the hall, naked and clutching himself, praying silently that he wouldn�t leak any more pee until he reached the toilet.
She was right behind him. �You pissed my bed, you asshole. Marked it up like an animal defining his territory. How the hell old are you anyway?�
�I�m twenty-seven. You know that.�
�Aren�t you supposed to quit pissing the bed at toilet training? Shouldn�t you be over this?�
�This has been a concern for me all my life. It�s really not that unusual. They make adult diapers for a reason.�
�Why the hell aren�t you wearing one?�
�Mostly �cause I�ve been told an incontinent man in a diaper is a turnoff. Besides, I hadn�t planned on staying so I didn�t bring one.�
�God! You disgusting fuck!�
�Just calm down. This isn�t entirely my fault, you know. It tried to tell you last night. You wouldn�t let me.�
�Are you telling me you KNEW you�d piss my bed?�
He threw his arms into the air filling the room with a light urine aerosol. �Well, I hoped I wouldn�t.�
�You should have been insistent. You should�ve made me listen. You knew you�d piss my bed and still fell asleep there. How could you?� She held her face in her hands.
�Look,� he tried to put an arm on her, but she shrugged it off. �This doesn�t have to mean anything. We can get rubber sheets.�
Her head popped up, anger burning behind her eyes. �RUBBER SHEETS! You want me to buy GODDAMN RUBBER SHEETS?�
�I know where we can get them cheap.�
He had never seen anyone seethe before. She pounced. �I thought you were perfect. I needed you to be perfect. How could I have fallen in love with a bed-wetter?�
They stood in silence for a long moment.
�Is that true?� His voice was very quiet.
�Which part? That you disgust me?�
�He took another lengthy moment before replying. �No, I meant the part about you loving me.�
She looked at him standing in her bathroom, naked, piss running down his inner thigh and pooling at his feet. �Yes it�s true. I�m in love with you. I think I have been since the park.�
Tears welled up in his eyes. �I�ve been in love with you since the very same instant,� he confessed.
�Then why didn�t you tell me your secret?�
He couldn�t meet her gaze. �Because I wanted to believe you�d want to be with me anyway. I wanted to believe nothing could matter.�
�Get out.� She turned and went into the living room. �Take the sheets with you.�
As he closed the door behind him, Loco wagged his tail.
Posted at 5:28 p.m.
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