My sister is, generally, a gentle soul. I point to her occupation as proof of this claim. She's a first grade teacher. First grade. She's that gentle. When you irritate her she usually rebukes you with a "That kind of behavior makes me sad." sad.

There are, however, occasions when she tries to step out of her natural role and into something other than gentle.

One time she and I were in a car driving down a Tulsa road. "You know what I think would be funny?" I asked. "I think it would be funny to roll down the window and just scream at the next biker we pass, just to see if we can make him fall. With the power of our voices!" This was, for both of us, a wonderful thought.

"Let's do it!" she finally said.

"Do what?"

"The scream thing. I'm gonna scream at the next biker we pass. See if I can get him to fall."

It needn't be said that I was in. You, dear reader, already knew that. We spotted a biker up ahead. "You're sure you want to do this?" I asked.

"Oh, yes," she said, "this is gonna be great!"

We drew near the guy on the bike. Christine prepared herself. She rolled down the window. Took some short deep breaths. Rubbed her hands together and furrowed her brow.

"Um, Chris, you might want to..."

She cut me off with a gesture. She took a deep breath. He was drawing very near the window. When he was even with her face she let out a bone chilling scream. It came all the way from her toes. At the exact same instant both our car and the bike glided easily to a stop at a red light.

It took Christine a moment to realize that we had nto zoomed past the biker, leaving him sprawled in a ditch far behind us.

"I was gonna ask if you wanted to wait for the next one. The light was red" I added helpfully.

The biker was staring at us and by us I mean her. He clearly thought of her as a circus freak. Christine slowly turned and faced forward. She sank down a bit in her seat and reached for the crank to raise the window.

"Isn't that light ever gonna turn green? Just run it. Brian, I'm serious. Run it."

The biker got off his bike and knocked on her window. She rolled down the window a crack and said, "yes?" He leaned in and screamed at her. Then he crossed his eyes and remounted his bike. Shortly thereafter the light turned green and both parties made an escape.

"I tried to tell you."

"Shut up."

"The red light was coming up and I tried to warn..."

"Just shut up. Shut up and drive."

We don't talk about that day.

My job hunt makes me feel just like that.

Posted at 8:46 p.m.

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