Anyway, he just presented himself at the reference desk with a volume from the New Jersey Digest. He pointed toward the hall outside the library, beyond the security sensors, and said, "may I take this into the bathroom?"
I have to admit to being a little taken aback. "You want to take that book into the bathroom," I repeated.
"Yeah, unless there's another bathroom inside the library. Is there one in the library?"
"Um, yeah. There's a bathroom back that way."
He thanked me and disappeared in the direction I'd mentioned. I tried to put it out of my mind, but I was finding it more and more difficult.
About ten minutes later he reappeared at my desk and I tried not to think about it but he said, "You know that reminds me of a funny story."
"I'll bet, Judge," I said.
"When a judge is sworn in, it is customary for the judge to make a speach. It's the first time he takes the bench in his robe, and it's really a very formal affair. Anyway, it is also customary for the speach to include a number of thanks. You know to mentors, parents, employers, professors."
"Oh, sure," I said.
"Well, anyway when I took tbe bench for the first time I was giving my speach and I thanked my father who was a very remarkable lawyer. The kind of lawyer who would get phone calls from other lawyers asking his opinion.
"Anyway I took the bench and I was giving my thanks and I said, 'and I'd like to thank my father, who taught me the two most important things never covered in law school.'"
"What was that, Judge?"
"Where you can get coffee and the location of the mens rooms."
I was dumbfounded. "I see."
"They don't teach you that in law school!" He smacked the desk as his head dropped back and a belly laugh rolled out of his mouth.
"No, I never took that course, I can tell you!" I matched his tone.
"I'll tell 'ya, my favorite one was in the basement in the hall of records."
"Why was that your favorite?"
"It was the cleanest, the warmest, and the least known!"
He picked up the Digest volume and headed back to his table. Tomorrow I'm Lysoling the whole set.
Posted at 3:12 p.m.
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