2003-05-19 � Law Men on the Lam
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The answer is, yes, I have been keeping a close eye on last week's misadventures in the Texas Legislature. Have you been watching? I must say it's been ages since Texans delighted me so. Here's a quick recap to help any that need a catch up.
For the first time since reconstruction (1865 or so), Republicans took control of the Texas House of Representatives in Austin last fall. Immediately following the census of 2000, the Texas Congressional districts were redrawn to account for shifts in the population of the state over the past decade. This map was submitted and duly enacted by the state legislature a couple of years ago. The map was not scheduled to be redrawn again until shortly after the census of 2010.
The district maps are very important in American politics because the boundaries on those maps often determine the outcomes of elections. In some states, redistricting is a function of the executive branch and thereby comes under the auspices of the governor, but in most states redistricting is a function of the legislative branch and is controlled by the legislature. Though most states have some mechanism for impartiality in the drawing of these maps, usually involving the judiciary, it is nearly inevitable that which ever party controls the branch of government responsible for the redistricting maps will draw them to benefit itself.
Texas Republicans, frustrated by nearly 150 years of being shut out of the map drawing, decided to jump the gun a little and redraw the current map, mid-decade. The Republican proposed map would have virtually ensured that five seats in the U.S. House of Representatives changed hands from the Democrats to the Republicans, while all current Republican seats remained safe. On the stage of national politics, this is huge because of the bolstering effect five more seats would have for the current razor thin majority held by the Republicans in the House. It should be noted that this is a highly unusual action, but it is within the authority of the state legislature.
The Texas House Democrats were publicly outraged, and privately horrified, by this bold Republican maneuver, so the Democrats looked to the state constitution and cooked up a plan to defeat the impending vote on the map. The Texas Constitution requires a quorum be obtained before a vote can be taken. A quorum consists of two thirds of the House membership. There are 150 seats in the House, so a quorum is 100 members. There are currently 88 Republicans in the Texas House, so they cannot reach the constitutionally mandated number without 12 Democrats. With a vote pending last Monday, 50-some of the 62 Texas House Democrats gathered in small groups and took off for the state line.
The following morning an enraged Speaker Tom Craddick 
took matters into his own hands. The first thing he did was have the doors to the House chamber locked shut. This is apparently accomplished by the turning of an enormous brass key with a tassel hanging off the end. Then, as Texas law permits the arrest of lawmakers deliberately thwarting a quorum, he ordered the famed Texas Rangers to track down the wayward legislators, arrest them, and return them to the House Chamber.
Then, and I'm not making this up, he ordered lunch, which was served to all in attendance on linen table cloths and led a sing-along of the Star Spangled Banner.
Then Craddick issued a press release stating that the renegade legislators had disappointed the children of Texas who had come to the statehouse to see their representatives and compared the renegade Democrats to Moses Rose, the one man who fled the Alamo.
Elected officials in neighboring states were contacted regarding their willingness to assist the Texas Law Enforcement agencies hunt down the 50 or so bloated Texans who had caused Craddick to get all rowdy. In response the Attorney General of New Mexico issued an all points bulletin for New Mexican law enforcement to be on the look out for "politicians who favor health care for the needy and oppose tax cuts for the rich" with barely contained glee. Soon thereafter, it became common knowledge that the wayward legislators had taken shelter at a motel just across the Oklahoma border in a town called Ardmore.
House Majority Leader, Tom DeLay, a Republican from Texas who is believed to be the mastermind behind the scheme to remap Texas and ordinarily a strong proponent of federalism, called for the FBI and the U.S. Marshals to be dispatched to round up the troublesome quorum busters.
One of the Democrats at large in Oklahoma was known to be a pilot. Late in the day on Monday an overzealous state official contacted the Department of Homeland Security saying something along the lines of, "OH MY GOD! A plane carrying many of our treasured state legislators has gone missing and we need your assistance to track it down because we're totally worried about the lives of the legislators even if they are just Democrats!" The federal agency, believing the issue to be one of a plane in distress and not a political battle internal to Texas, diverted resources ordinarily used to protect us from despots and terror-mongers and other boogedly-boogedlies that go bump in the night to a region wide search for the Representative's plane effectively embroiling the President in the squabble.
In the meanwhile Texas Democrats lived it up a bit. Here are two Democrats on some kind of porch singing into a cell phone and wearing short pants. 
One morning the Representatives were awakened to banging on their bedroom doors. Representative Jim Dunnam was quoted "at first I thought how in the world did [US Attorney General John] Ashcroft come up with a reason to get the FBI banging on our door?" But it wasn't the law. It was a member of the Motel staff rounding up all the residents to wait out a tornado warning in the basement. 
Texas Governor Perry and Speaker Craddick pleaded with the Democrats to return home. "Think of the children!" they cried to the lens of any camera they perceived to be turned on. "All you're doing is 
teaching children how not to resolve their differences by being childish and cowardly! What about the children! We won't vote on redistricting, we promise!" But their pleas fell on deaf ears. Through another procedural quirk of the Texas Legislative process, the bill to enforce a new map died last Thursday at midnight. Shortly before midnight, the legislators boarded a chartered bus in Ardmore and began a triumphant ride home. They took the time to pose for a photo op on the steps of the capitol Friday morning and returned to work as heroes to some and villains to others.
I have never in my life been so entertained by Texans as I have been during this event. It was like a sweeps stunt tailor made for CNN. This was even better than the Dixie Chicks in London. I send a hearty Bravo! to both sides for keeping the ball alive as long as you have. I'll wager this isn't over yet as the speaker is contemplating a special session and the governor is complaining that no budget has hit his desk yet. Stay tuned, dear reader. Stay tuned.
Posted at 1:14 p.m.
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