It seems that yesterday he had a conversation with an Angry Man which I will try to recreate for you.
Angry Man: That pavillion over there has a roof on it.Brett: Yes. It has always had a roof.
Angry Man: Well, I can't eat there.
Brett: Oh? Why not?
Angry Man: Because the roof is too low!
Brett: I'm sorry I don't understand.
Angry Man: The roof! It's too low. You know. It's too close to the ground.
Brett: I'm sorry I still don't understand. Are you claustrophobic? Do you dislike confined spaces?
Angry Man: Don't you start with me! I'm not crazy! Don't you ask me that like you think I'm crazy.
Brett: So, then you're not claustrophobic?
Angry Man: NO! I'M NOT CLAUSTROPHOBIC! IS THAT OKAY WITH YOU? IS THAT OK?
Brett: Calm down, now. Some people have trouble with open spaces. I'm just trying to understand what the problem is.
Angry Man: I can't tell you the problem. I can't tell you it. If I tell you, you'll judge me. Just like they always do. They're all judgers and they judge me.
Brett: No, now listen, sir. My job is not to judge you. I'm here to try and make your stay as pleasant as possible. I just need to know what the problem is before I can help you plan your day.
Angry Man: I want them to bring my food to me outside. So I don't have to go under the roof.
Brett: We don't really do that sir. We don't have curbside service at that food stand. Please, just tell me why you can't go up to the counter to order, just like everybody else.
Angry Man: WELL, SMARTY PANTS, IT'S BECAUSE IF THE ROOF IS TOO LOW I CAN'T FLY!
Brett: I'm sorry? Could you say that again?
Angry Man: I need lots of room overhead so I can fly. Not side to side. Up and down. If the roof is too low, I can't get enough lift to get off the ground.
Brett: I see.
Angry Man: It's up and down that matters, see. Up and down. Not side to side.
Brett: Oh. Well, are the attractions a problem for you? How about restaurants. Can you go in a restaurant?
Angry Man: I'M NOT A FREAK! I CAN EAT AT A RESTAURANT, SMARTY-SMARTY! I'M NOT A FREAK!
Brett: No, no. I don't think you're a freak. It's just that, as you can imagine, this is a problem we don't run into every day. It's not so common, so I need some information before I can help you.
Angry Man: (leaning in conspiratorially) It's more common than you think.
Brett: I'm sure that's true.
Because Brett is the professional he is, he grabbed a map of the park and highlighted the areas that had low ceilings in an effort to help the Angry Man avoid them. He even suggested an open air Farmer's Market for lunch.
The Angry Man, now suitably tamed floated off into the crowd. I imagine him to have been that guy who was a head taller than all the other people behind him while they were lined up on the curb to see the parade.
This is why Brett needs to start his own diary. If you'd like to send him some mail requesting he get diarylanded you may do so by clicking here.
Posted at 1:33 p.m.
previously on Sooner � next on Sooner
last five entries