2003-03-03 � Peth's Expedition

Oh, loyal readers. A treat today.

I have been asked multiple times if Theresa is real or yet another of my imaginary friends. And while I have been very vocal in voicing my opinion that she is real, many of you do not share my point of view.

I can make a convincing case for her existence all on my own. For example, since I left the library oh so many months ago I have not mentioned her. Why would I simply drop one of my favorite subjects to write about, unless I were no longer witnessing her antics. I mean, it's not like I can just make that stuff up. I tried! Remember Lastleg? My biggest diaryland failure?

And how about the other Theresa sightings across Diaryland? Remember when Peth waxed poetic about Theresa's frothiness? How about Addieplum and the wieners? And let's not forget Bevin's eyewitness report of the counting incident.

I mean, it's not like I ever asked you to take my word for it or anything. Still, I understand the confusion. The motto of this diary is, after all, "it's all lies" and I can hardly blame you for taking that more to heart than the rantings of a crazy old woman.

But the tide, my friends, the tide is turning. Much like other mysterious creatures whose existence has long been debated, startling new photographic evidence has recently come to light blowing the lid off the Theresa controversy.

What I can tell you is this. The following photographs were obtained during a field expedition conducted by the delicious and charming Peth. Little is known of the expedition itself, as Peth has gone into hiding and refuses to discuss the encounter with other knowledge seekers. However, the following excerpt from her field journal may shed some light.

"Because you know (can (know)), I have to a lot of material(equipment). I collect a lot of one material(equipment) removes me, I hold all. But I should not do the way still to river of the material (stuff) if I enter into my house, and more's pity, I cause to this economic person - a cool way. This dying companion had only so an abundance barahla and material (stuff) in his(its) (his)((its)) small house, this was astonishing. To pressure to be crackled (tension) tremendously similar to a post (similarly the post) elektronika, the space(area) slowly panned on grudam the thoughtless dresses mixing with old books in a soft blanket of a dog - eared, a bottle of pills, polyethylene packages, newspapers, lamps of a table (table), and not identified particle of the magic. I was fallen in love with it. All the time we observed it, I am sure that the flame turned his(its) (his)((its)) intestines, thinking that it was how I will finish."

Profound.

The photos I'm about to show you have been authenticated by leading professionals. What you are about to see is real.

Feast your eyes on: Theresa!

Here's an action shot. Don't get too close, Peth! She'll getcha!

And here's a contemplative pose. It's as if she is considering how best to devour Peth! Note the projects over Theresa's shoulder outside the window indicating this photo was snapped in Theresa's natural habitat.

So, I hope this has been of some assistance to any of you nay-sayers. But if it hasn't, I really don't care.

Posted at 3:34 p.m.

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