"Oh, Brian, I'm glad you're here. It's your first day�HOW EXCITING!�anyway, let me show you this. Here in your judge's chambers is the coffee pot. Right over here. Listen, the judge drinks it all day, black and strong, so this is what you need to do.

"Here's the pot. Now, take the top of, and fill it to twelve, see? See the twelve there? Fill it to twelve with water from the cooler. OK. Then what you do is pour it in the back like this.

"OK. Now you take one of the filters, and be very careful about this, because you can get more than one if you're not very careful. They stick together, Brian. See they stick like this. So you have to very carefully separate... very carefully separate... very carefully...

"Oh, dear. Listen, can you get that apart, my fingers are so dry. OK. Oh, you're such a sweetheart! I can tell we're going to get along very, very well, you and I. I can tell, I can just tell!

"Ok. So we get a coffee filter, just one as you can see and you pull out the basket and put the filter in, then you do five heaping scoops of the coffee. One. Two. Three. Oh, sorry, did I get it on you? It just brushes off. There. Four. And five.

"Ok. Then you just put this in like this and flip the switch just like so, and we're done! And the coffee gets made fast fast!"

Day Two

"Oh, I'm so glad to see you this morning! What a lovely magenta colored shirt! I love that color, you look so dashing. Oh my!

"Anyway, here's the thing, Brian. I showed Gina how to make the coffee this morning, but I'm not sure she got it. Do you think you could go over it with her again? What do you think?

"It's just that she doesn't drink coffee she said, so I don't think she really understands. Would you help her make the coffee? Oh, you're such a dear."

Day Three

"Oh, there you are, Brian. Good morning to you. Good morning. Listen, I made the coffee this morning. I made it so you don't have to even think about it. It's made, and ready to go! So today, it's not your concern. Not at all.

Day Four

"Good morning! Good morning good morning good morning! Listen, I know you just got here, but I wanted to remind you that the coffee has to be made. Do you want me to show you how to do it? Make the coffee? Because it's so easy, I'll show you. I will. I will help you make it for these first few days of your clerkship.

"You're sure you got it? You're sure you know how? You're sure? With the water from the cooler, right? And also seven scoops? That's right, only five. That was a little test, a little scoop test. You're on the ball, you are! Yes, you are!

"Ok. Well, I'll leave the coffee to your very capable hands then. Alright."

Day Five

"Listen, about the coffee. I really think that you should take on that responsibility. I think it's time you handled the coffee. You just have to make it when you get here. That's all you have to do. That's it! Just make the coffee and then we're lickety split done!

"So, in the mornings, when you get here, if you would make the coffee, that would be great."

Day Six

"Good morning, Brian! Listen, about the coffee, you were going to take on the responsibility of making it, right? You were going to do that, isn't that right? Am I right? Ok. Because it has to get done and I really think you're in the best position to be doing that, especially since Gina refused, ok? OK."

Day Seven

"Listen, Brian, I'm so glad you're in. I think Ellen is obsessed with the coffee or something. I really do. I mean, the way she was acting. It was like she was obsessed with the coffee or something. She came up here this morning and put her finger in my face and said, 'listen, Ilene, you should leave my clerks alone. They don't have to make your coffee. If the judge wants coffee, I'll make it. The clerks have their own work' and then she said I should leave you alone and all kinds of things.

"Can you imagine? The way she spoke to me. Oh. It's only coffee. She shouldn't get so worked up over coffee! It's just coffee. She's obsessed I think!

"Anyway, I didn't make it, so you need to. If you could just make up a pot, then that'll be great. OK then."

Posted at 10:42 a.m.

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