2002-10-15 � Sponsoring the Sniper

Regarding the sniper, I have made a few observations. Last night as the story about the latest victim was breaking, I found myself watching FoxNews. FoxNews is the ghetto news of the twenty-four hour news outlets. It seems to me that CNN and MSNBC are staffed by and targeted to men and women with a broader outlook on the world. That certain outlook that an education can often provide. FoxNews doesn't concern itself with such trivialities. They are the people's media outlet. From the aggressive drumbeat in their technopop musical overlays, to the swoosh sound effects that accompany every rapid fire, visually assaulting graphic, to the re-delegitimizing antics of Geraldo, FoxNews has its finger on the pulse of the commoners and it gives them what they want. It's more dazzling than informative, more Entertainment Tonight than Variety, more The Anna Nicole Show than Biography. And that, of course, has a tendency to make it more fun.

So last night, minutes after the shooting of the latest victim, FoxNews was on the air covering the breaking story. They had little to say, as little was known. But they said it over and over anyway. "We have reports of another shooting in the DC area. Reports are coming in saying there has been a shooting. I repeat a shooting has reportedly occurred in the DC area. Now if our reports are correct, the victim was a woman shot in the parking lot of the Home Depot in Falls Church, Virginia. Reportedly the shooting of a woman has taken place in a Falls Church, Virginia Home Depot parking lot reports say. Falls Church, of course, is in the DC area where we have reports of a woman being shot in the Home Depot parking lot reportedly located there. We take you now to correspondent Tiffany Ace Reporter who is on the scene in Falls Church, VA where reportedly a woman has just been shot in the Home Depot parking lot there. Tiffany?"

"Thanks, Jen. I'm standing in the Home Depot parking lot where moments ago reports of a shooting, excuse me, a sniper style shooting began coming in. The apparent victim is a woman reports say."

This went on for a good ten minutes. There were wide angles of the parking lot clearly showing the Home Depot in the background and the flashing ambulance lights in the parking lot. There were lots of concerned faces and lots of repetition. Back and forth from the scene to the studio with all hint of integrity and professionalism flushed down the loo as each relocate was accomplished via a digital effect that left a trail of red white and blue sparklies across the screen and Tie-Fighter engine noises on the surround sound following the constant motion.

At some point just before I nodded off, the anchor interrupted the field reporter mid-sentence with an urgent breaking update. Apparently some girl who grew up in the area was on the line. The anchor wanted to have an on air conversation with her. The graphic above the scrolling headline ticker said "ON THE LINE: Falls Church Area Expert, Girl On Cell"

"We have Girl On Cell on the line. She grew up in Falls Church and is an expert on the area. Go ahead Ms. On Cell."

"Yes, am I on the air right now?"

"Yes, go ahead, Ms. On Cell. You're on the air."

"Oh my goodness. Well, as I told the operator who answered the phone a few minutes back, I grew up in Falls Church and I know the area where the shooting took place pretty well. I mean, it's like an outdoor mall, kinda. You got your anchor stores like the Home Depot where reportedly a woman was shot in the parking lot. You got a TJ Maxx, an Old Navy and so on.

"I guess it's really not a mall so much as a shopping center, you know? I'd call it a shopping center before I'd call it a mall. But it's a nice one. There's lots of stores there. Like there's a Kohls and a Target and�oh my god."

There was a long silent pause. The anchor broke in. "Caller? Are you there? Caller?"

"Oh my god." The caller said. "There's a Michael's Craft Store in that shopping center. There's a Michael's there. Oh my god."

The caller fell silent, an occurrence the anchor wasn't counting on, so she vamped. "For those of you who don't know, Michael's Craft Store is the cloth that the string that is pulled in this story."

Read it again. She said, "Michael's Craft Store is the cloth that the string that is pulled in this story." So about that time they cut to a Home Depot commercial and I went to bed musing on the sponsorship of a woman's murder which already prominently featured the sponsor's trademark. I wondered if the CEO of Home Depot was trying to swallow a pillow at that very moment.

I think most of the fuel in this fire is the constant coverage. Last night 20/20 did a whole hour on this shooting business which prominently featured an interview of an ABC reporter who was giving her views about living in the DC suburbs during this tumultuous time. She began extolling the virtues of being indoors with her kids, and taking them to museums in DC because everyone feels safer in DC than outside of it. "As you know, there are wonderful museums in our nation's capitol, John."

Personally, I believe the unending coverage, the 24 hour sniper conversation in tense tones and with lined faces, contributes a great deal to both the frequency of the attacks and the hysteria that seems to be accompanying them. If you live in greater DC, by all means be careful. Stay the fuck away from area Michael's Craft Stores. It seems self explanatory to me.

A final thought. Harry Shearer reported hearing one of the FoxNews forensic analysts say, "It's good for us every time he kills someone." She was pointing to the fact that more clues are left every time it happens, while entirely discounting that one more of our number will be dead every time he kills someone. I think this unfortunate comment was much more a result of the push to fill air time with constant chatter than anything else. Still, I can't quite manage to get my head around it.

Posted at 2:48 p.m.

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