2001-11-09 � Mickey's boa...constrictor

Some of you may recall my friend Brett who works at Disney World. Brett works in something called �Guest Relations.� As I understand it this is a complicated job with a number of duties. One of the primary duties of this position is front line public relations. Somebody has a complaint? Send Brett to deal with it.

He is uniquely suited to such a position, as he genuinely wants to make everybody happy. You may recall his I want to buy everyone in the world a Coke scheme, for example.

Brett does not like email. He much prefers the phone. To receive an email from Brett that contains more than two sentences, let alone a paragraph structure, is really quite a compliment.

I received the following email from Brett today.

ok...so you were the first person I thought of when this HORRIBLE event that I am about to recount took place.

I was at work when I spotted a little girl in a wheelchair parked on the side of the road with her family. The little girl was crying so naturally I went over to see if I could cheer her up. Through talking with them I discovered that the little girl had missed Mickey Mouse EVERYTIME she tried to see him over the course of their vacation. Today was their last day. They were leaving in a few hours. Well, we couldn�t have that so I decided to make a little magic for this family and set them up with a private meet and great with Mickey. Sounds like a good idea, RIGHT?

WRONG!

It all started out well enough. I called Characters and they JUST SO HAPPENED to have an extra Mickey hanging around. They suited up a Cast Member and sent him over to Gust Relations. I got Mickey situated in a private room and then went and fetched the family. I brought them in and the little girl was ELATED!!!!

She yelled out �Mickey! It�s YOU!!! It�s REALLY you!� With this my heart melted and my eyes teared up. I was so moved by this little girl�s excitement and joy; she FINALLY got to see Mickey!

And then it happened. Mickey was mid hug when he started to FREAK OUT!!! Arms flying everywhere, yelling from within the costume, tugging at the head. The little girl goes CRAZY at this point. She starts crying hysterically not sure what is going on. I then tell the parents to get her out of the room and I approach Mickey to help him. When I get close to Mickey he turns suddenly and cold cocks the side of my face knocking me on the ground. I�m lying on the ground and Mickey�s head drops to the floor and into my view. So now not only has this girl seen Mickey Mouse FREAK out, but she now watched him punch out another person, namely me, and RIP HIS HEAD OFF.

I lay there on the floor trying to figure out what the hell just happened, Mickey�s eyes staring into mine from his cold lifeless head on the ground. FREAKY? I think so.

At this point you are probably wondering what happened to make Mickey freak the way he did and eventually rip his HEAD OFF. Well, there was a snake in the costumes headpiece and it was slowly wrapping itself around the cast member�s neck within.

So of all the people in the world that I know, YOU were the one who I thought would get the most pleasure out of knowing that I was punched out by Mickey Mouse. Hope you are having a great day. Talk to you later. LOVE YA!

~Brett~

Victim: Mouse Abuse

Brett tells me he cannot keep his own diary because he has a boring life and nothing interesting happens to him.

Email can be sent to Brett by clicking here. It is unlikely any response will be more than two sentences long. You are, after all, strangers.

Posted at 3:09 p.m.

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